Whilst the importance of sexual contact differs from relationship to relationship, most would agree that this is still a pivotal part. However, it’s not exactly pure sexual contact that means the most between couples, which might surprise them, but rather the need for true intimacy. This in itself can be expressed in a variety of ways, ways that one article could not fully express in the entirety.
It’s when intimacy slowly dissolves that relationships become strained. A couple may last a portion of time without sexual contact, perhaps due to an injury or medical issue, but a lack of intimacy can cause bigger rifts that we might expect. Does this mean we’re suggesting you need to be as intimate as possible or risk losing your relationship? Of course not, you are empowered to define how comfortable you are with the frequency of intimacy or how ‘intimate’ it gets.
That being said, if you’re hoping to keep your relationship intimate and overcome problems related to this, it’s worth considering a few vital techniques. We hope the following advice can help you:
Identify the problems that may be contributing to your difficulties. It might be that an online doctor is the best resource to help with certain medical problems that are causing performance anxiety. However, it could also be that you’ve noticed a change in your partner, to the point where you believe they could be struggling with a mental health problem. Warmly suggesting they visit a licensed medical professional can be a worthwhile recommendation to make. It’s simply not appropriate to force your partner to be intimate at a time most convenient for you, sometimes the problem isn’t a dysfunction but rather a preference. Finding a solution means keeping an open mind, and putting everything on the table. You can achieve this if you:
Remain Open & Honest
It’s thoroughly important to remain open and honest no matter what, but especially when it comes to the sensitive topics you may need to discuss with your partner. This can help you avoid keeping secrets from one another, as you’re letting them know that the conversation space between you is trusting, non-judgemental and always confidential.
You should expect this from your partner in the same way. Perhaps you’ve recently had a child, and your partner is working a lot, to the point where it’s no surprise that you’ve had issues with perfect intimacy despite feeling as though you owe the other something. The more you can communicate, open up, or simply express how you feel good or bad, you can come to a solution faster. However, through the act of being open and honest you will be acting in an intimate manner to start with – because what could be more intimate than sharing your inmost feelings with trust?
Communicate Your Needs
While it’s thoroughly important to listen to your partner, communicating your needs is also essential. We cannot expect our partners to be telepathic, at a certain point something has to give. Perhaps you’re worried that your lack of intimacy now means that your partner feels you are less attractive than you used to be, or maybe their late nights at the office has you worried about the limited means by which you see each other.
This can be an important litmus test, because their response to you can show you how important your feelings are to them. This doesn’t mean they have to bend over backwards to immediately comfort you, but it does mean they need to be aware of the impacts. If they shrug you off without question, or laugh at you, that can be a good indication that the lack of intimacy in your relationship is less innocent than it seems.
Express Your Love
Of course, if we hope for someone to be intimate with us, we must give them the space to feel safe and loved. Does this mean you have to jump on them every second you get? Of course not. Intimacy can mean taking the time to cook for someone and to share a bottle of wine with them. It might be taking them out to dinner (well albeit after lockdown lifts of course). It may just be complimenting how they look. Intimacy can be defined by more than just physical contact, but of course, these actions can help your connection take place with further regularity.
With this advice, we hope you can keep your relationship intimate in the best possible way.